My dear, sweet readers.
After a long and illustrious life, I have a very sad announcement to make.
I..-
Oh, I can't. It's just too horrible.
*sigh*
I have gotten my first cavity. Ever.
I am so devastated by this news that I've convinced myself that within 5 years, my mouth will look like this:
I'm going to turn into some snaggle-toothed demon-mouthed monster. Oh, it's horrible.
For my entirely life, I've smuggly smiled as others reported on their less-than-stellar visits to the dentist. For my whole life, I've had perfect teeth! (Save for tetracyline staining, but that's not my fault, and I think I'd chose good skin over good teeth anyway). And now, as my dentist so eloquently (and, sigh, coldly) put it, I am no longer in the "Cavity-Free Club". I was really hoping to have a polaroid of my mouth displayed proudly in the waiting room, too.
I was visibly disappointed after meeting with the dentist. Luckily, I was consoled by the hygienist (a lovely Quebecoise recently settled in this town) who said that I should still be proud of my good teeth, and that cavities don't form over years, and that after 28 years, and as I age, I should naturally expect a few more.
Oh, the horror.
Oh bitch, we
KNOW those aren't real.
I feel relatively confident when I say that your mouth is never going to look like the picture (of a dog's mouth) you posted.. And if they do ever start to look like that, I give my dog meaty bones to chew on and it cleans the plaque right off.
